Tao Meth

I've got the patience of a Chopping Block, but I aspire to be uncarved.

Crystal Method and Taoism just don't seem to mix.



I've got the understanding of a four year old, and I aspire to think like a child.

Then again, maybe they do.

Ironic or just Coincidental

The only way I could be more apathetic is if I cared to be.

The Founding Fathers would Hate you.

The ultimate Irony of the United States is the question “What would the founding fathers think?” The ultimate answer to that question is one that hardly ever gets brought up. They would think we were idiots for caring what they thought—about anything. Besides the fact that these men lived in the 18th century and would have no context for thinking anything about our current issues of society, the simple fact is that these men were revolutionaries and free-thinkers. They disagreed with their governance. They disagreed with the law. They disagreed with taxation without representation. They disagreed with the status quo. And now they have become it. The founding fathers may not have liked that they were wrong when we overturned the rules they put in place by giving black people liberty and women their fair say in elections. But they sure would have been proud of the fact that we were following in their footsteps by saying, “Just because these institutions were sanctioned by others does not mean they should be sanctioned by us and tradition does not warrant these atrocities, so let us stand up against the wishes of our founding fathers and change their laws to seek justice and the common good.” What the founding fathers would think or do is irrelevant and they themselves would be ashamed to hear that question if they could still think today.

Double Cup Method

If you normally put your underwear on with your left leg first, and then for some unexpected reason, put you right leg in first, it feels just about as awkward as masturbating with your off-hand. I found this out the hard way. From now on, I’m going to resort to jumping in with both legs at the same time. The only problem is finding someone to hold them while I jump….

Are People Really as Stupid as You Think?

In my experience, people are underestimated. When I first meet people, I have this expectation of their stupidity. The extent to which this is proliferated through our society was unknown to me since I assumed it was isolated to my own sentiment. There is this belief that runs throughout our society that there is a class strata based on intelligence. While a Jeffersonian elite may not be a bad thing, this is the reverse of that. Instead of intelligent people rising to positions of prominence in society, people who have risen to positions of prominence are considered intelligent.

Intelligence has no bearing on social status. Just ask Paris Hilton.

But this creates an idea; an idea that people are inferior and stupid if they are underneath you. How simple is it to ask for someone's opinion? Ask them how they would do it? Ask them what they like about it? If only for the past couple weeks, I have learned that you will get an amazing amount of ideas from people that others deem idiots by being open to their intellect. Its not as hard as you think.

Are my boxers on backward?

Have you ever unzipped your fly and hit solid cloth?

Leading you to wonder if perhaps you were stupid enough to not even realize that you had put your underwear on backwards that morning?

Only to realize sheepishly that you had tucked your t-shirt in that morning?

No? Ok, guess that's just me then.

Groggy Death Threats

Justice can not rest until the person who invented the alarm clock is posthumously excavated from their assuredly overly elegant grave and dragged out into a dark alley and shot repeatedly with full metal jacket bullets and then has his bullet ridden corpse beaten repeatedly with a series of multi-sized ball-pin hammers.

Well-Run Businesses Not Welcome Here

This topic might be rehashed over and over again, but I hear this point made too rarely in the discussions of where bailout money should be levied. It seems like the argument begins after the first decision. It is a classic argument gambit. Make the first question: "Where should we spend this bailout money?" and people start arguing over that--forgetting that that obfuscates the first question: Should we spend money on bailouts?

The whole premise of bailouts is a business exists that is too integral to the country's infrastructure or the foundation of the economic landscape to fail. How in the world does this not fall underneath the anti-trust segment of the United States' Statutory Law? The point of free-market capitalism is that well-run companies take over for badly run companies because badly run companies eventually fail! It takes some time and some pain, but just because a company was well run in the past and achieved a position of great prominence does not mean it will be well run in the future. There is a reason they have failed to the point of needing a bailout.

Bailouts only prolong pain and suffering of everyone involved in the economy. They also hold back businesses that are well run and would be at the forefront of re-building the economy from the economic ruin these badly run companies have thrust us into and champion bastions of the old guard that have failed and are dragging the rest of the economy down with them. Shed them and stop giving them money for a job poorly done. Start funding companies that have the potential to save the economy, not butcher it further.

If you need better proof than philosophical musings that bailouts are a bad idea...here is one example you can't explain away, no matter how you try: John Thain.
Merrill Lynch ex-CEO and all-around Asshole uses 1.22 Million dollars in early 2008 to do what? Decorate his office. For a full breakdown of those expenditures, please click here:

Office Renovation

And then after that piece of arrogance, he has the gall to spend $4 Billion of public bailout funds in Employee bonuses and then spits bile to defend that decision with the words "If you do not pay your best people, you will destroy your franchise" Hmm. Let's pay the people who destroyed our franchise to destroy it some more. How does this logic work when your company failed?

Bailouts are a perfect idea, let's give more money to people who have spent money in such an unwise manner that they need more money to waste. Perfect.

Girls That Like Glitter

Why do girls like glitter? Because it sticks to you for life. You can't get it off no matter how much you scrub until your skin burns. As my friend says, "Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." Think twice about girls who wear glitter.

60 years from now, you'll pick a piece of glitter out of your pubic hair and remember her fondly with slight annoyance.

Frisbees Cause Viagra

I think frisbees are the cause for depression in the United States. They are too light. Parents coddle children by giving them light frisbees to play with because they don't think that children can handle heavy frisbees. Children, therefore, grow up programmed to think that they can only handle light frisbees. This, in turn, destroys any confidence they might have had and makes it impossible for them to get laid without first drinking a cocktail mixed with Prozac and Viagra. If only we trusted our kids with heavier frisbees...

Monkish Community

The Prologue from Ohrid describes a story of an uncondemning monk:

This monk was lazy, careless, and lacking in his prayer life; but throughout all of his life, he did not judge anyone. While dying, he was happy. When the brethren asked him how is it that with so many sins, you die happy? He replied, "I now see angels who are showing me a letter with my numerous sins. I said to them, Our Lord said: `stop judging and you will not be judged' (St. Luke 6:37). I have never judged anyone, and I hope in the mercy of God that He will not judge me." And the angels tore up the paper. Upon hearing this, the monks were astonished and learned from it.

Humans are incapable of not judging. That is what perspective is.
Let the angels stop judging and leave it to humanity.