Tao Meth

I've got the patience of a Chopping Block, but I aspire to be uncarved.

Crystal Method and Taoism just don't seem to mix.



I've got the understanding of a four year old, and I aspire to think like a child.

Then again, maybe they do.

Ironic or just Coincidental

The only way I could be more apathetic is if I cared to be.

The Founding Fathers would Hate you.

The ultimate Irony of the United States is the question “What would the founding fathers think?” The ultimate answer to that question is one that hardly ever gets brought up. They would think we were idiots for caring what they thought—about anything. Besides the fact that these men lived in the 18th century and would have no context for thinking anything about our current issues of society, the simple fact is that these men were revolutionaries and free-thinkers. They disagreed with their governance. They disagreed with the law. They disagreed with taxation without representation. They disagreed with the status quo. And now they have become it. The founding fathers may not have liked that they were wrong when we overturned the rules they put in place by giving black people liberty and women their fair say in elections. But they sure would have been proud of the fact that we were following in their footsteps by saying, “Just because these institutions were sanctioned by others does not mean they should be sanctioned by us and tradition does not warrant these atrocities, so let us stand up against the wishes of our founding fathers and change their laws to seek justice and the common good.” What the founding fathers would think or do is irrelevant and they themselves would be ashamed to hear that question if they could still think today.

Double Cup Method

If you normally put your underwear on with your left leg first, and then for some unexpected reason, put you right leg in first, it feels just about as awkward as masturbating with your off-hand. I found this out the hard way. From now on, I’m going to resort to jumping in with both legs at the same time. The only problem is finding someone to hold them while I jump….

Are People Really as Stupid as You Think?

In my experience, people are underestimated. When I first meet people, I have this expectation of their stupidity. The extent to which this is proliferated through our society was unknown to me since I assumed it was isolated to my own sentiment. There is this belief that runs throughout our society that there is a class strata based on intelligence. While a Jeffersonian elite may not be a bad thing, this is the reverse of that. Instead of intelligent people rising to positions of prominence in society, people who have risen to positions of prominence are considered intelligent.

Intelligence has no bearing on social status. Just ask Paris Hilton.

But this creates an idea; an idea that people are inferior and stupid if they are underneath you. How simple is it to ask for someone's opinion? Ask them how they would do it? Ask them what they like about it? If only for the past couple weeks, I have learned that you will get an amazing amount of ideas from people that others deem idiots by being open to their intellect. Its not as hard as you think.

Are my boxers on backward?

Have you ever unzipped your fly and hit solid cloth?

Leading you to wonder if perhaps you were stupid enough to not even realize that you had put your underwear on backwards that morning?

Only to realize sheepishly that you had tucked your t-shirt in that morning?

No? Ok, guess that's just me then.

Groggy Death Threats

Justice can not rest until the person who invented the alarm clock is posthumously excavated from their assuredly overly elegant grave and dragged out into a dark alley and shot repeatedly with full metal jacket bullets and then has his bullet ridden corpse beaten repeatedly with a series of multi-sized ball-pin hammers.